The Truth of the Narcissistic Mother: What She’d Never Tell You

The Scapegoat Child Will Not Be Silenced… Broken Spirits, Restored; Justice, Served

Constantly being forced medication for the fourth mistaken diagnosis to keep me quiet

You never knew what I may unearth in your non-mothering, drug-addicted days of your sordid past of being my mother

So, the stays in the psyche wards and the follow-up appointments with the next psychiatrist

Were all just setups to show and prove I was crazy to silence me  

As this is what’s leading up to what comes next

The consistent abandonment, cleverly disguised as my running away, or blaming me for your hatred of me

If no other consistency in my life was given me, abandonment and embarrassment were the two constants

All the times you humiliated me and shamed me in front of everyone you ever knew

For every scar where I cut myself because you just refused to love me!

And for every time I wish I’d cut a little bit deeper

So the bulimia came which you met with your own brand of disgust and disgrace for onlookers

But what’s worse than a mother slut shaming a 13-year old who’s hymen was perfectly intact

Forcing hormones antipsychotics and antidepressants on a preteen girl

Causing her first of many suicide attempts and mental breakdowns

You used this to prove that I was “crazy”, unworthy of love, unworthy of life

And to this you swear it didn’t happen besides I’m just crazy, right?

Yet you never once thought you were wrong, Have you no soul?

You never once thought to console your daughter in the midst of the brokenness that you caused

Did you ever care to try to see it from my vantage point?

I already know the answer, but I didn’t then

SO…

Instead of denying it like the coward and broken, egotistical maniac that you are,

Could you have just said, “I’m going to latch on and suck you dry

And I’ll spin the most intricate web of lies and destruction around you dear daughter

I’m just going to wait as you suffocate and plead for air

As you beg for your life, I’ll just take everything that I want from you and smash them to smithereens

All of your accomplishments, of your interests, hopes, and dreams are mine

Finally, I’ll take your children

But I won’t hear you and neither will anyone else by the hammering of the last nail

So that you understand

You are my biggest downfall, my biggest mistake daughter

And you will pay for daring to thrive in my womb

To think that you would make it out alive was so ambitious

But now I have plans to make my groom and break my new scapegoat child since everyone is bored of you now.

You ever will be known as the crazy daughter who didn’t love her kids enough

Although I know the truth and you know the truth

As long as I have you a little deeper into my perfectly tangled web you’ll eventually smother yourself to get out

And MY version of the truth will be all that matters

Because… I’m all that matters

And since your existence threatens my every claim to fame I’ll vote to pull the plug when given the choice

And I’ll wait every minute hoping that with my meddling that you’ll finally die!” …

… ”You were never worthy of me, my time, my love

Hell, I have none of that for even myself — let alone you!

How cute you are to think that you were worth anything at all,

But darling didn’t you believe me when I told you repeatedly that I should’ve aborted you?

You’re my perpetual run in my pantyhose, my hangover every morning

The reason I drink, and snort my house payment away in little white lines

Why, my every little white lie tells the story of your tragic end in my book

And if I had a love for anyone you’d be the last person on the list of options

If it’s any consolation to you now, You are the first person on my list of persons to break

To use, torture,

And to publicly spread outright lies about and ruin any reputation you ever could’ve had

Because you’re so sensitive and empathetic you were an easy target

… “BOOM” I got you sucker!

So pathetic and naïve, it was almost too easy with you

Now, that’s why I’ve moved on to fracture your son- or MY SON

Since I technically legally kidnapped him and his sisters from you

And you’re powerless to save him

What a pity for you- That I sold my soul to the devil to have everything that’s yours!”

Do you remember that time when you thought that you’d won. When you thought you could you’d get away with isolating me. Trying to banish my boyfriend from visiting me after my craniotomy, and you told the nurses to refuse resuscitation if I died? Or when you had a privet investigator track me down at my lowest point in my life to threaten, bribe, and even blackmail me to sign my parental rights over. Then, you posted on Facebook that I didn’t love my children and that they were throw-away kids . My children are being subjected to the same level of emotional torment, gaslighting and manipulation that I endured. You think that grooming and brainwashing my children to hate me is going to work?! How many of your birth kids don’t resent you now? Yeah, thought so.

This is actually what the honest confrontation betwixt my mother and me would look like if there ever was one. It’s hard to let someone whom you love lie and degrade you for years and never speak up with the truth. SO here is my truth one piece at a time. Its confusing and there are so many memories that are only pieces of one whole one, but I plan to heal those too. I wont stop until my children are freed from her reign of terror in their lives and they know the whole truth!

And since I know that you and your flying monkeys are stalking my social media accounts and my blog I just have one last query for you before you go.

Do you think that these people who blindly follow you realize that you’ve made outrageous claims and stretched truths after you’ve block me on all accounts? Do you think its easier for you to spread your lies and manipulate these poor fooled people when I have no way of defending my self or calling you out on your BS and harassment? Please be informed that I am working with my attorney to serve you a cease and desist order and I will see you in court.