What says forgiveness?
Isn’t this another word to explain excusing someone’s ill behavior?
Is there more than accepting one’s apology or lack there of?
Do you even want their lame apology anyway?
Probably not, but the act of forgiveness does not require any apologies. You already know that the offender is about as sorry as they come
And your gracious attempts of forgiving the offense are likely to give you more stress and too many repeated motions to get on with it truth be told. I mean, it’s going to take more grace than to you than you are willing to just freely give away most likely.
But if you give forgiveness a genuine space in your heart, a motivated chance you’ll overcome the feelings that come from a hurt heart.
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22, ESV)
The point of forgiveness is not for the offender. The whole point of forgiving the people who hurt you is a complex structure but it’s ultimately for your benefit. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to forgive this person per offense. Whether it’s daily or by the hour, you can lift it to God and He’ll move you past the hurt as long as you’re willing to get out of your own way.
These are my 3 children and my mother has manipulated connived and used her narcissistic power to introduce me to pain pills and over the course of 5 years stole my children for her own narcissistic supply. Then ensues my heroin addiction after she refused to help me but kept all avenues blocked off to getting real help with leaving an abusive relationship and kicking the pain meds. It’s a long and torturous story. And the hard truth is that I have to forgive her. Not for her benefit, but for mine. Going “no contact” has really helped in this on going cycle of abuse so I can break free and acknowledge the truth of the matters. But forgiving the woman who birthed me then maliciously and savagely ruined my life is NOT for HER BENEFIT. It’s necessary for healing, MY HEALING.
And every time I think about the situation I have to catch myself. If don’t catch the cycle at the onset of shame and the “what ifs” I’ll begin to ruminate and shame myself hard for not knowing any better. After some self practiced healing I’ve learned the importance of forgiving the offender in spite of her and just give it all to the only One who can even do anything to change it.
When I do, I feel a sense of relief and can feel my hope being restored now! Besides, my Jesus has been here for me through all my days. Why would He abandon me or even let me down now? I know that He’s working and when it’s time it’s going to be a more incredible and magical reunion than I could ever arrange for myself!
As I work on my grief of losing my children I cry out to Jesus, and I know He hears me and reminds me that He’s working and to be patient! Another miracle is coming 🕊
Family and Faith 💖 