Read On to See God’s Grace in Action 💜
Medication assisted recovery- it’s RIGHT in the NAME!
I know this is a very controversial subject for a lot of people, but I will hopefully bust some myths with my own personal experiences. I want to be very clear right from the get go- I am a very grateful recovering addict. I have received the services of Methadone AND Suboxone/Naloxone for years- EACH!
I can say that one of the treatments worked wonders for me while the other did nothing but feed my need to find more substances. Though, I am not bashing one or the other because they both do work for millions of people. I am currently taking a form of Suboxone (for reference) and I have been taking it religiously. In the beginning of my recovery, I was an unwilling stubborn woman who thought Methadone was similar to Suboxone, and didn’t want to go back down that road. My boyfriend at the time talked me into the suboxone treatment and I’m so glad he did! Right out of the hospital after surviving open-heart surgery, a pace-maker implantation and a CRANIOTOMY all due my heroin addiction, I told my boyfriend I wanted to do it ONE MORE TIME! And if you are at all familiar with an addict’s brain, that ONE MORE TIME is what KILLS a heroin addict who has been sober for the whole two and a half month stay at the hospital. I was set on doing one more pill, a dhilaudid, a more powerful pill than most yet not nearly as bad as heroin. I was also set on shooting it up because I was not only addicted to the medications, but I was feigning for the needle. He unwittingly bought me the pill, but I wanted a syringe. This was the turning point. This man watched me fight for my life for months and came to hospital without question everyday before and after a grueling 10 hour workday. He showed me more love than I’ve ever been shown, and later became my husband. But, at this time he was literally doing everything for me after my hemiparesis from my craniotomy left me helpless without being able to talk, much less able to care for myself. Can you imagine the audacity!?? I was now on my way to some sort of independence, and here I was asking for a pill and a syringe! As you can imagine there were some words to be shared- some loud, some reasonable- but God used these ‘words’ to wake me up.
Either, I can believe that I’m just an addict and I will live and die and addict or I can believe that I’m loved and valued by someone. As I watched him plead with me and threaten to leave me if I did it, I then realized that I was valued and I have everything I have always wanted- love. And I was pushing it all away, because of my own lack of seeing my self-worth. I think I got so comfortable in the mess and the self-loathing that I never realized that I am someone. I was not a statistic, I was more than some junkie. Here is this amazing man who has stood by my side in my full-blown addiction, saving me every time I got in to trouble, opening his home and his heart to me, and now I am sabotaging all of it now I was finally sober! I had to make a choice- that dhilaudid and needle or a life worth living- I made the obvious choice, of course!
It’s too common, though, that a person in that same predicament will choose the habit. Why? I’m so glad you asked!
An addiction to drugs is so complicated, the drugs have been their demise AND their only friend for how ever long they’ve been using. The addiction is not only to then drug itself- you have the chase, the score, the method of ingesting the drug to name a few. This has been this addict’s whole life, and the addict has more than likely already written him or herself off, has already accepted their doom of whether they die of an overdose or getting murdered by a drug dealer or some awful scenario. The addict feels immensely guilty, dirty, separated from the real world, and has to carry the baggage of the life they once lived or could’ve lived and all of the trauma they never dealt with that caused them to pick up [drugs] in the first place. They are completely devoid of any hope at all!
I can only speak on my life experiences, and with that said; I can confidently say that if it were not for the supportive people in my life and my medication assisted treatment team I would not be where I am today. I am three years clean and sober and so proud of the accomplishments I have made with my second chance at life. I find comfort in knowing I don’t have to ever use again. My recovery IS valid, and my medication assisted treatment affords me a life I can be proud of.
I’m no longer a slave to my trauma or my fear. I’m now a successful writer, a loving wife and mother, and I’ve recovered so much that I have lost to the disease of addiction. God has fulfilled unbelievable promises to me and He’s not done yet!
I’m not out in the streets, I’m not stealing, panhandling, prostituting, or putting myself in unpredictable situations any longer. I don’t get assaulted anymore and I don’t assault others either. I have these promises from God that say I don’t EVER have to go back there AGAIN! And I’m counting on His love and healing everyday to make me whole again… and He’s doing it and without fail.
If you or someone you know or love Is struggling with any kind of addiction, there is hope! You can’t go it alone and God is more than ready to adopt you into the royal family and offer you rest, healing, and unconditional love.
I’m available for anyone who is wanting the rest you’ve been craving. You can contact me on any one of the links on this blog. Please allow up to 48 hours for a response, but know I’ll do my best to answer your call for help as soon as possible. I promise and God promises that recovery IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU and everyone who wants it! 💔 ❤️🩹 ❤️
Family and Faith 💖 